Conclusion: Taking on the 40-day “Love Dare” Challenge
Being in an intimate relationship isn’t always easy. There are going to be days when you feel like giving up and just taking the risk of letting those “hot spots” grow and fester, until before you know it, you are dealing with a 5 alarm “relationship” fire. This is not the solution.
It’s your turn!! My challenge to you, is to take on the “Love Dare”—a 40-day series, based on the book “The Love Dare” by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, of challenges and activities designed to help husbands and wives understand and practice unconditional love and possibly rekindle some of those sparks that have gone dim. This challenge can help those that feel like their marriages are about to go up in flames or for those that feel their marriage is solid but want to continue to do things to nourish and strengthen it. For the “Fire Proof Your Marriage,” series we only touched on four out of the 40 “Love Dare” challenges. Consider doing all 40 “Love Dare” challenges with your spouse or getting some other couples involved and trying it together. If you want to take this dare a step further, write your experiences in a journal.
From personal experience, I can tell you it works! It was not easy to do, but in the end I walked away feeling happier about myself, feeling closer to my husband, and feeling like I could put out those fires that have the potential of sending my relationship burning out of control, leaving only a trail of destruction behind.
In the article “We Took the Love Dare”, Mary Lebeau writes about her experiences with her husband Scott. Here are a couple of her journal entries:
Day 12: Love lets others win
The Dare: Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.
To paraphrase Dorothy to the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz: “I think this one will hurt most of all.” I hate to lose. I always have. When I do have a position on a topic, it’s pretty hard (read: almost impossible) to change my mind…
So when Scott decided to okay our daughter’s bedtime snack even though she hadn’t eaten her dinner, I bit my tongue. Okay, I admit that wasn’t much of an argument, but we do have a lot of disagreement about parenting, and this was the only issue that came up today. I’m going to have to remember to keep doing this beyond today, as I’m willing to surrender my pride to keep my marriage healthy and strong.
Day 2: Love is kind
The Dare: In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
I was feeling a bit challenged about the dare. Show a gesture of kindness? I wasn’t sure what to do with that. I wanted to clean our bedroom, which certainly would be a huge act of kindness (for both of us!), but I didn’t get to finish it. Life intervened—Scott went to the doctor because of back pain, and learned he had to be tested for kidney stones. So I took over cooking duties while he went for his ultrasound. (No results yet, so we’re praying that, no matter what it is, it doesn’t cause him much pain.)…
Thinking about it, I came to a revelation. My husband is really good at being kind, especially when it comes to me. He’s good at small gestures and back rubs and making the kids’ lunches before he leaves for work. He used to do the last one because I’d be up working, but now that I’ve cut way back on writing, he still does it and lets me stay in bed. That is really kind (especially because he’s more of a “sleeper” than I am).
I DARE YOU to take on the “Love Dare” and see what amazing things can happen in your relationship with your spouse!